XMas Craft
by Amano Unmei
Summary: This is a short outtakes fic. Ever wondered, how would Christmas look, when celebrated by Warcraft characters?


**CATHEGORY:** Warcraft  
**TYPE:** Humour  
**RATING:** G  
**WARNINGS:** none  
**DISCLAIMER:** Nothing is mine. Don't sue or flame me.  
  
**Tyrande:** Alright, time to prepare the meals!  
  
**Jaina:** _(looks around)_ Yeah, but we're still missing the turkey...  
  
**Tyrande:** Oh, don't worry, I sent Illidan to get us one. _(starts to prepare things)_  
  
**Jaina:** _(blinks)_ Why Illidan?  
  
**Tyrande:** He's a hunter.  
  
**Jaina:** But a _demon_, not a _turkey_ hunter!  
  
**Tyrande:** Oh, he'll do it, don't underestimate him!  
  
_(Illidan rushes past them, chasing a turkey that runs with an incredible speed.)_  
  
**Illidan:** _(pants)_ WHAT IS... THIS ... A LIGHT SPEED... BIRD...?!  
  
_(Tyrande and Jaina laugh silently and get back to work with the food. Thrall comes in.)_  
  
**Thrall:** Right, I sent Grom to get us a beautiful tree.  
  
**Jaina:** Grom, you say?  
  
**Thrall:** Yeah, he's got great experience with chopping down trees.  
  
**Tyrande:** (swaetdrops) Right, whatever...   
  
_(Meanwhile...)_  
  
**Kael:** Vashj, you really think these lights look fine here?  
  
**Vashj:** Yes, why?  
  
**Kael:** Well, you know, as for me... Look, if we put this here, the wall will look like a goblin lab surrounded by wisps.  
  
**Vashj:** But it still looks good.  
  
_(Kael fell over. Arthas comes in, carrying a huge box. Variously coloured chains stick out of it.)_  
  
**Arthas:** _(places the box on a couch)_ Here are the decorations... Hey, what a wall!  
  
**Vashj:** _(snakes hissing)_ Any problems?  
  
**Arthas:** Not really... It just gleams more than Dalaran on fire.  
  
_(Kael burts out laughing.)_  
  
**Vashj:** _(sweatdrops)_ Alright, mister laughing-at-you-I-always-will-be, get the stuff and decorate the next wall!  
  
**Kael:** _(standing up)_ What, another one?  
  
**Vashj:** Yes, we've got three to go!  
  
**Kael:** Well, in that case, we won't need a Christmas tree...  
  
**Arthas:** By the way, were _is_ the tree?  
  
_(Vashj and Kael look at each other.)_  
  
**Kael:** Wasn't Grom supposed to get it?  
  
**Vashj:** I guess so...  
  
_(A turkey runs past them, chased by a sweating and furious Illidan.)_  
  
**Arthas:** Right, I'll go check on my gifts...  
  
**Jaina:** _(from the kitchen)_ Hurry up with the turkey, Illidan!  
  
**Illidan:** _(panting)_ EASY FOR... YOU TO... SAY...!!! THIS BIRD IS... RUNNING AT A... LIGHT SPEED...!!!  
  
_(Then suddenly the turkey gets hit by a Frost Nova and dies instantly. Illidan falls, exhausted.)_  
  
**Kel'Thuzad:** Those demon hunters don't have spells too good for such a job...  
  
**Tyrande:** Well, finally we got the turkey... but we didn't ask for frozen meat.  
  
**Kel'Thuzad:** _(funny voice)_ Sorry!  
  
_(Grom comes in.)_  
  
**Thrall:** Grom, where's the tree?  
  
**Grom:** What tree?  
  
**Thrall:** _(angry voice)_ You don't have it?  
  
**Grom:** Furion didn't let me.  
  
**Thrall:** _(sweatdrops)_ Now what?  
  
**Grom:** I'll just go get a synthetic one...  
  
**Tyrande:** Illy, could you pass me that knife? _(points)_  
  
**Illidan:** What knife?  
  
**Tyrande:** That biggest one?  
  
**Illidan:** I don't see any.  
  
_(Jaina fell over.)_  
  
**Furion:** _(comes in)_ Hey, why so quiet? Let's sing!  
  
**Kael:** Good idea! _(sings "Hark! the Herald" in elvish)_  
  
**Thrall:** Wait a minute, why elvish? You're not alone, y'know! _(sings "Deck the Halls" in orcish)_  
  
**Kel'Thuzad:** Wish we had a language of our own...  
  
**Arthas:** Don't you know demon?  
  
**Kel'Thuzad:** Right! _(sings "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" in demon)_  
  
_(Furion stands in the middle of the room, sweatdropping, surrounded by the fierce din.)_  
  
**Tyrande:** Furion, darling, be so nice and set the table!  
  
**Furion:** Right, but we still don't have the tree...  
  
_(About fifteen minutes later Grom came back with a huge, green and _living_ tree.)_  
  
**Jaina:** Where did you get a living one?  
  
**Grom:** Oh, Cenarius is selling some two flats away.  
  
**Arthas:** You _bought_ a tree from _Cenarius_?*  
  
**Grom:** Ocassionally.  
  
**Thrall:** _(prevents himself from swearing)_ Whatever, let's just decorate it...  
  
**Kael:** Wha, no singing...?  
  
**Everyone:** NO!!  
  
**Jaina:** Then we better hurry up, it's getting dark...  
  
**Kel'Thuzad:** I brought all the gifts.  
  
**Vashj:** _(looks a the huge pile of packages)_ Will this fit under the tree?  
  
**Kel'Thuzad:** Beats me.  
  
**Arthas:** _(looking around)_ Where's Anub'arak?  
  
**Shandris:** _(decorating)_ Something _has_ to hold the tree.  
  
**Anub'arak:** I don't like the way this Christmas is starting...  
  
**Furion:** Hey, aren't these goblins running away from us?  
  
**Illidan:** Don't be silly, brother, why should goblins run from us?  
  
**Vashj:** Um, I dunno, but I got a bad feeling something's ticking around here...  
  
_(Silence. Shandris and Tyrande check the decoratins and find a small, black, square one.)_  
  
**Arthas:** Oh, my God...  
  
**Thrall:** What are we going to do now...?  
  
**Maiev:** Pray.  
  
**Grom:** Maybe this thing _won't_ explode...?  
  
_(It did.)_  
  
    **THE END**
  


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***** Special thanks for my sister, Shirogane Tenshi, for this one. ^^ 


End file.
